whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize