I bet he comes in French.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
