I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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