East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
