i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
