I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
