He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
