were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
