This girl is more easily done than said...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
