we have officially lost it.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
