Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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