I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize