I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
