I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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