the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
