I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
