I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
