just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and she was petting her beer can
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
