Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
