Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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