Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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