And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize