He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
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When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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