I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There r osticjed everywhere
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
