Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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