who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
