An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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