i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
