that's an acceptable place to lick
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did I show you my penis last night?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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