It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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