I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
