I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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