That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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