I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.