I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag