He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
