I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
