Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.