i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
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Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
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Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.