I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
