Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  dude i doubt hes gay

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!

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  (850): dude i doubt hes gay (1-850): I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH! http://tfl.nu/cmky
  Replies (24) Good night (1249) Bad night (4376)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...

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  (603): Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words... http://tfl.nu/0249
  Replies (108) Good night (1279) Bad night (5939)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

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  (613): So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely. http://tfl.nu/77c9
  Replies (58) Good night (8508) Bad night (2271)
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  (949): View more from California

  I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.

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  (949): I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar. http://tfl.nu/limh
  Replies (8) Good night (4778) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?

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  (847): Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden? http://tfl.nu/x4ab
  Replies (111) Good night (12607) Bad night (1673)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  even your uterus rejects him.

  (1-562): View more from California

  apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.

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  (562): even your uterus rejects him. (1-562): apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body. http://tfl.nu/g0cm
  Replies (7) Good night (5413) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?

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  (+44): Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night? http://tfl.nu/4ztl
  Replies (10) Good night (3505) Bad night (1044)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.

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  (613): We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed. http://tfl.nu/xcuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2919) Bad night (1077)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather

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  (304): You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather http://tfl.nu/giov
  Replies (17) Good night (1684) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.

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  (972): I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants. http://tfl.nu/algc
  Replies (7) Good night (1140) Bad night (959)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.

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  (604): Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over. http://tfl.nu/sa4q
  Replies (11) Good night (1590) Bad night (448)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.

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  (954): I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days. http://tfl.nu/jvfc
  Replies (1) Good night (1046) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair

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  (517): It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair http://tfl.nu/cxxw
  Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.

  (214): View more from Texas

  That's our motto every night.

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  (469): Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT. (214): That's our motto every night. http://tfl.nu/q8qi
  Replies (1) Good night (919) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I can't wait to tell mom.

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  (920): He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me? (262): I can't wait to tell mom. http://tfl.nu/c20r
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (690)

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