I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
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I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
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I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.