I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla