Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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