You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
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I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
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She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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