this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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