Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
