I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
