I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
