Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
