careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
