I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
