Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
