Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We smell like vodka and hangover
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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