Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
