bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize