"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
