You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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