Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying