Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
