I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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