whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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