Will you blow on my dice?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize