remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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