batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
