VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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