May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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