I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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