i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
