At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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