I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
