The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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