you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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