I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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