Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
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I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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